Making New Friends (part 2)
As I was saying from my last post, we as adults lose those common threads to make new friends when we were kids. Neighborhoods? As adults most move away from our childhood towns. School? Graduation hits sooner or later. College only extends the thread for some people to make new friends. Depending on where you live, there might not be much of a selection to try new things to meet people. Usually its for single people looking for romantic relationships, but that will be another subject for another time.
There is church, temple, or other relgious meeting sites but again depending where you live, there might not be a big selection of beliefs especially if you practice a faith that does not have an established base in said community. Then there is the workplace. But do you want to spend time with a person on your off time that you have seen already for 8 hrs and lunch break?
Also because depending on the workplace certain people can get shut out or have a job like city inspector in a town of 800 people.
But are all those things obstacles for older guys to make new friends? Not really. I think that life experiences tend to get in the way or put up defenses for guys when meeting new people. Perhaps the old stereotype defense comes up that when a guy is friendly to another guy, could he be gay and hitting on me? In the movies, even "guy movies," there is tons of dialouge between guys, like a Kevin Smith movie. But in real life, guys are like "Hey," "Whats up?" "How's it going?" etc . . .
But that's the way life is, perhaps what I have just said is not how it goes for everybody. Just recently I made a connection with a guy at my new job. We are in the same training class and have hit it off talking about stuff in general and it seems we have some common interests. We have gone out to lunch a few times. Even offered me to join him out of town for a convention for a day if he had a spare ticket (the offer was rescinded when the ticket was actually going to the person who it was initially for). But hey no worries well go out and toss a few beers he said.
Sounds funny when I am writing this because it sounds like something I would describe if I met a person I had romantic feelings for. Part of my point to make is this, life is unexpected. Who knows what or who comes along.
EP
There is church, temple, or other relgious meeting sites but again depending where you live, there might not be a big selection of beliefs especially if you practice a faith that does not have an established base in said community. Then there is the workplace. But do you want to spend time with a person on your off time that you have seen already for 8 hrs and lunch break?
Also because depending on the workplace certain people can get shut out or have a job like city inspector in a town of 800 people.
But are all those things obstacles for older guys to make new friends? Not really. I think that life experiences tend to get in the way or put up defenses for guys when meeting new people. Perhaps the old stereotype defense comes up that when a guy is friendly to another guy, could he be gay and hitting on me? In the movies, even "guy movies," there is tons of dialouge between guys, like a Kevin Smith movie. But in real life, guys are like "Hey," "Whats up?" "How's it going?" etc . . .
But that's the way life is, perhaps what I have just said is not how it goes for everybody. Just recently I made a connection with a guy at my new job. We are in the same training class and have hit it off talking about stuff in general and it seems we have some common interests. We have gone out to lunch a few times. Even offered me to join him out of town for a convention for a day if he had a spare ticket (the offer was rescinded when the ticket was actually going to the person who it was initially for). But hey no worries well go out and toss a few beers he said.
Sounds funny when I am writing this because it sounds like something I would describe if I met a person I had romantic feelings for. Part of my point to make is this, life is unexpected. Who knows what or who comes along.
EP
posted by obiwon69 at 9:38 PM
2 Comments:
came across your blog thru yahoo (bored at work and surfing the web). it's interesting you mention how it's hard for guys to make friends because of lack of common interests. i moved from the south valley to santa cruz 4 years ago to be closer to my boyfriend and have had a very hard time making friends for the same reasons you listed (lack of common interest, etc). with guys i've noticed that all they need in common is football or something vague, and they're exchanging phone #'s and hanging out a week later. it's semi-reassuring that not all guys make friends this easy! :)
-cindi
Hi, as we age, the opportunity cost for us to go out and make friends is higher... I guess. We will rather enjoy ourselves at home... probably juz sleep. 30 plus is a phase which we r either rather self-confident with a few good friends already or rather trodden by life experiences... so we have less passion to go out and see new people...
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